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I give you the Audacious O


Tuesday, July 29, 2008 10:33 PM PDT

It’s not the audacity of hope. It’s just plain audacity.

This Barack Obama fellow acts as if he is someone important, as if he has ideas that we should hear.

Now that is audacious, as is everything he does. That’s why I call him “The Audacious O,” a nickname I’ve decided to popularize.

Earlier this month, for example, the Audacious O said he thought it was admirable that when Europeans come to this country, they can speak our language plus one or two others. When Americans travel to France, the Audacious O said, all we can say is, “Merci beaucoup,” which in French means, “Where’s the bathroom?”

The Audacious O is audaciously wrong on countless counts here.

First, Americans don’t understand only one language. Because of our love of Paul Hogan and Men at Work a generation or two ago, most of us understand at least some Australian.

But the bigger point is why should Americans have to learn a language beyond American? We, after all, are God’s country.

When national philosopher/poet Lee Greenwood demanded God bless a country, he demanded that God only bless the U.S.A. God responded because Lee Greenwood has special pull.

It’s an indisputable fact that Americans are in charge of the world because that’s what God wants. So when we travel to other countries to vacation or do business, people should be able to speak God’s language, which is our language. If they don’t we should just leave, which means those foreigners can do business with Germans, Japanese, Chinese or other people who waste valuable time learning languages.

My idol, Sean Hannity, made a good point when he said most of us can’t even talk or write our own American language well, so we need to concentrate on that before we start worrying about other languages.

I recently heard some expert talking on the radio about how it is good for the mind to learn another language, but I’m convinced there is nothing better for your brain than loving your country and its practices, one of which is speaking the American language.

Then, a few days after audaciously making his idiotic statement about foreign languages, the Audacious O went to the Middle East and Europe, where he acted like some big deal from America or something. In Iraq he even went to a military base, where he actually had the audacity to accept the cheers of soldiers.

(I would point out that a large percentage of those in the military are minorities and would naturally cheer for the Audacious O, but people might call me racist. I also would point out that he should have been expected to make that three-pointer in the military gym without warming up — he’s black, after all — but I don’t want people to think I would stereotype.)

Then, as he was on a military base, a soldier saluted the Audacious O, which goes against military protocol. Military salutes are reserved solely for the president, defense officials, military officers and members of Toby Keith’s band.

How audacious is the Audacious O? He didn’t even scold the soldier for the salute. He just went on with his business of being audacious.

In Europe the Audacious O was audacious enough to meet some world leaders. Then he spoke to hundreds of thousands of people who came to hear him as if he were some sort of dynamic speaker or potential world leader.

Yes, the Audacious O got the people there fired up about what he might do if elected to the most important job in the world. He did so by appealing to the three things Euros deeply love: liberalism, high-necked black turtleneck sweaters and that techno/trance “music.”

The Audacious O promised to lower tariffs on high-necked black turtleneck sweaters and promote not only same-sex but inter-species marriage, as long as those getting hitched wear high-necked black turtleneck sweaters.

He even had a techno/trance band play at his big speech, no doubt trying to get the people all robotic so they could respond to the Audacious O’s speech like the machines they’re raised to be in Europe.

As my boy Sean H. said, it’s as if the Audacious O is running for president of Europe. Yes, some people jumped all over Sean for using the term “president of Europe,” but Sean knows the nation of Europe doesn’t have a president. It has a prime minister.

The Audacious O, though, is just audacious enough to think he could run for prime minister of Europe while running for president of the United States.

If he wins the election for Europe’s prime minister, the Audacious O might just be audacious enough to say, “Donde esta el bano” which in Spanish means, “Thank you very much.”

>> Bret Kofford teaches writing at San Diego State University-Imperial Valley campus. He can be reached at koffford@roadrunner.com


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Comments:

drussel wrote on Aug 4, 2008 8:57 AM:

" isurdoc- I agree, for the most part, with what you've just written. Why didn't you spell it out like that initially? I'm not an Obama supporter, but I believe in fairness, and i bringing out both sides of an issue so folks can make an informed decision. I believe Obama to be an empty suit, offering words more than substance to the American people.

I'm really not being nitpicky, I honestly don't know what you were trying to say with the word "navet". I presume you were trying to say naive, but I don't like doing that...presuming. If I may make a suggestion as far as spellcheckers go...I use the Firefox 3 web browser. I include the United States English Dictionary as an add-on to the web browser. It catches 99 percent of my spelling errors making me look smarter than I am. Check it out, if you haven't already. "

isurdoc wrote on Aug 4, 2008 2:30 AM:

" drussel
wrote on Jul 30, 2008 1:49 PM:

" I'm not an Obama supporter, but posts like isurdoc's deserve some sort of refutation.

Reply:

Yes thank you for the opportunity.

Do you believe that anyone who speaks out against Obama's candidacy must be a racist?

"Help me out...what is "navet"?"

Now do not try to be a Petty Nitpicker just so you would have something to complain about or would you?

Petty Nitpicker: to find fault, often unjustifiably, with insignificant details of something.

Navet for you.

IVP needs spell checker, now.

As for Obama's experience.

He does not have much in the way of actual job experience that would qualify him for much more than a middle manager trainee in most major companies.

I do not think Senate experience is all that it is cracked up to be.

The only Senate worse than the one in Washington D.C., is the one in Sacramento.

Our current Senate does not seem to have enough sense to pour urine out of a boot.

We have two do nothing buffoons in Boxer and Feinstein, which tells you lots about California's majority voters.

If Senators were so smart, these jokers would have realized 30 years ago that with just average economic expansion America would outgrow our energy supplies.

Hairy Reid another very smart and experienced Senator stood up a year ago and said we had lost the war in Iraq.

Obama made a grand tour over to Iraq for a day and arrogantly proclaimed that Iraq had made gains.

He however defended his no vote on the Surge saying the gains Iraq had made would have happened with out the Surge.

Guess that is why he decided against visiting our wounded troops in Germany so he could get a healthy workout playing basketball.

"He's still professes to be a Christian though, yes?"

Yes, he professes to believe in Black Liberation Theology a radical mutated form of Christianity.

Heck he attended church for 20 years and never once heard the Reverend Wright say a bad word about whitey or that Judaism was a gutter religion, nope nary a word.

His best friends though being 1960's bomb throwers, left wing radicals and avowed Marxists can attest to Obama's qualifications and patriotism to the country he wants to lead.

"Even though Hispanics and African-Americans continue to wage turf wars in places like LA, he's still wishes to represent us all, even the Hispanics and African-Americans. (just like McCain)."

We know from past Senate actions that John McCain has a special place for Hispanics.

"Share with us Obama's plan for turning minorities like Hispanics and African-Americans against "mean ole Whitey". I haven't heard of this plan yet, and I'd be very interested in hearing more."

I did not realize just how much hatred for a person's skin color existed until moving to California.

Maybe I just led a sheltered life while down in South America for all those years or was it coming from the calm Mid Southwest that gave me thought that most of the major race battles were settled in the 1960's.

Yet the Great Uniter and Mender wishes to Obamatize the masses of the unwashed.

However, his "JUST WORDS" seems to have widened and deepened the chasms between the races and the haves and have not's.

Our In The Obama Tank Main Stream News Media spews racism and race card news twenty-four hours a day seven days a week.

Blacks voting 93 to 97 percent for Obama leads me to believe there is something more than just experience involved with their choice of candidates.

As for his plan, I do not have a clue, because he Flips and Flops like a just caught Mackerel so no one really knows where he stands from one day to the next.

If Obama does not watch very closely his Flips and Flops he will lose, many of his left wing radical base comes election time.


" Just like McCain wants the world to share in his vision of freedom and liberty. "

I disagree that Obama's vision of freedom and liberty are the same as John McCain's.

I do agree Obama wants to share HIS vision of freedom and religion as taught by his mentors and self avowed Marxists radicals Frank Marshall Davis and Saul Alinsky.

If you truly were an Obama supporter, which I doubt, then no amount of common sense would change your mind. "

bigdane5 wrote on Jul 31, 2008 11:11 AM:

" On on hand one might say that Mr. Kofford is controversial. On the other hand one might say his writing stimulates gray matter. If there was a third hand it might be said that without his contribution to the IV Press this paper would not be too interesting.

Welcome home Bret. "

dbrett480 wrote on Jul 30, 2008 3:01 PM:

" Kofford's columns remind me of something Stephen Colbert would write, but even more over the top. "

drussel wrote on Jul 30, 2008 3:00 PM:

" Nah...I just like seeing and presenting both sides of an argument/issue, that's all. I gotta say, I'm not real high on McCain, either. But...I'll support him. "

Prov3 wrote on Jul 30, 2008 2:45 PM:

" Drussel, you're not an Obama supporter???? "

drussel wrote on Jul 30, 2008 1:49 PM:

" I'm not an Obama supporter, but posts like isurdoc's deserve some sort of refutation.

Help me out...what is "navet"?

Obama's time in the Senate counts for something, doesn't it? After all, that's a whole lot more time than Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Jimmy Carter, George H.W. Bush (4 years in the House), and Franklin D. Roosevelt, just to name a few, ever spent as a US Senator. None of the noted gentlemen served any time in the US Senate. Richard Nixon spent 3 years as a Senator, and look what happened. John Kennedy, 7 years. Point being, service in the Senate really means nothing.

He's still professes to be a Christian though, yes?

Even though Hispanics and African-Americans continue to wage turf wars in places like LA, he's still wishes to represent us all, even the Hispanics and African-Americans. (just like McCain).

Share with us Obama's plan for turning minorities like Hispanics and African-Americans against "mean ole Whitey". I haven't heard of this plan yet, and I'd be very interested in hearing more.

Just like McCain wants the world to share in his vision of freedom and liberty. "

92231 wrote on Jul 30, 2008 12:53 PM:

" English, the language of mutts, from where we all come. Obiviously, you don't even know what your are arguing about; don't even know your pedigree. We are mutts derived from a multiple of nationalities. Silly you... "

isurdoc wrote on Jul 30, 2008 12:49 PM:

" Obama reminds me of a navet nincompoop suffering from a big dose of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Butttt, Obama has 143 days of Senate experience do not that count.

Buttt, Obama is a Christian even though he sat and listened to a racist preacher for 20 years.

Buttt, Obama is for all minorities even though Blacks and Hispanics are killing one another daily in places like Lost Angeles.

Buttt, Obama wants to unite this country by turning Blacks and Hispanics against mean ole Whitey.

Buttt, Obama just want to Obamatize the world................................ "

bigdane5 wrote on Jul 30, 2008 12:09 PM:

" 92231 ----> 'All feed her zane'. Is that English or Germanic? Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha. "

92231 wrote on Jul 30, 2008 11:41 AM:

" English comes from the Germanic tribes who gave rise to the English language (the Angles, Saxons, Frisians, Jutes and perhaps even the Franks), traded with and fought with the Latin-speaking Roman Empire in the centuries-long process of the Germanic peoples' expansion into Western Europe from the East. Many Latin words for common objects therefore entered the vocabulary of these Germanic people even before any of these tribes reached Britain; examples include camp, cheese, cook, fork, inch, kettle, kitchen, linen, mile, mill, mint (coin), noon, pillow, pin, pound, punt (boat), street, and wall. The Romans also gave English words which they had themselves borrowed from other languages: anchor, butter, chest, devil, dish, sack and wine.

Our main source for the culture of the Germanic peoples, who are the ancestors of the English, in ancient times is Tacitus' Germania. While remaining quite conversant with Roman civilization and its economy, including serving in the Roman military, they retained political independence. We can be certain that Germanic settlement in Britain was not intensified until the time of Hengist and Horsa in the Fifth Century, since had the English arrived en-masse under Roman rule, they would have been thoroughly Christianised as a matter of course. "

Prov3 wrote on Jul 30, 2008 11:04 AM:

" Miss Y, the article was completely tongue-in-cheek, stating that Americans speak "American" and that our language (USA's) is "God's language". Nowhere did Kofford write that "English is the language of God". Spanish--proper or not--is not THE language to speak to God, and English is not "the language to speak to dogs"....although I've personally spoken to plenty of "dogs" in my life, as well as pigs--in both Spanish (proper and improper) and English. "

farmallalfalfa wrote on Jul 30, 2008 10:44 AM:

" drussel- Coming from you, trust me, I not worried in the least. "

drussel wrote on Jul 30, 2008 10:42 AM:

" Gotta be careful of those right wing, nut-job e-mails. That's what the delete button is for. But then, to try and cover up your mistake in the fashion you did...Your cred took a serious hit this morning... "

farmallalfalfa wrote on Jul 30, 2008 10:31 AM:

" Oh thats cute, ganging up on me. I'll admit that I just cut and pasted that initial quote off of an email I received this morning. Forgive me for providing information that wasn't factually backed up. For a minute there, I thought I was a liberal working for MSNBC.

At least the youtube clip is correct!!! "

drussel wrote on Jul 30, 2008 10:28 AM:

" No, Durango...I'm not referring to you... "

durango wrote on Jul 30, 2008 10:27 AM:

" Miss Y--I don't think Drussel is speaking about me, is he? "

miss y wrote on Jul 30, 2008 10:25 AM:

" I agree, drussel. It's best to quit Durango, he'll go on and on. "

miss y wrote on Jul 30, 2008 10:21 AM:

" The audacity to say English is the language of God. ha! I don't think so buddy.

English is the language of BUSINESS. French is the language of love. German is for war. Spanish is the language to speak to God. Until you know PROPER spanish, you'll know the difference.

or better yet, I found this one:
French is the language to speak to a woman, Spanish the language to speak to God, and English the language to speak to dogs.

I think I like this one better. haha.

okay, just had to get that in here, continue with your obama nonsense. "

drussel wrote on Jul 30, 2008 10:19 AM:

" Uhhhh, let's see now....And who is it that person that just can't admit to being factually incorrect...? And then tries to dodge his/her erroneous comment and blame a liberal run website, or a liberal run newspaper, or a liberal run magazine for his/her misquote or misstatement...? And also has a slight habit of changing the subject when faced with facts he/she doesn't agree with...?

When living in a glass house... "

durango wrote on Jul 30, 2008 10:16 AM:

" Farm--seriously, you are doing your intellect a huge disservice.

Go back and read the correct quote I provided below. The author is neither implying nor suggesting political allegiance to any group of people.

The context of the quote centers on immigration policy and the lessons we should learn from previous policy experience. "

farmallalfalfa wrote on Jul 30, 2008 10:07 AM:

" I'm sorry Durango, I guess he's just saying that he will stand with Arab and Pakistani Americans should the political winds shift in an ugly direction.

Although the quote I provided may not be word for word (which really doesn't make it a quote at all), isn't it basically saying the same thing? "

farmallalfalfa wrote on Jul 30, 2008 10:02 AM:

" Did you know that Obama's grandmother is just a "typical white person", in his own words?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8gnmUyminI "

durango wrote on Jul 30, 2008 10:01 AM:

" Farm--uh, no. I have the book right in front of me.

Some online outlets like Amazon.com or Barnesandnoble.com allow you to see one or two pages of any book as a preview.

If you don't own the book (which is my guess), try to go to these outlets and read page 261 for yourself. "

farmallalfalfa wrote on Jul 30, 2008 9:59 AM:

" Durango- It looks like you've been to factcheck.org, a liberal run website. Yeah, I certainly believe what they have to say. "

gymjunkie wrote on Jul 30, 2008 9:56 AM:

" Durango so do you get the feeling that Hussein O. would not be for profiling? "

gymjunkie wrote on Jul 30, 2008 9:42 AM:

" Oh, and if you think France is insignificant as far learning languages go, Spain and spanish is even more so.
Maybe when referring to learning a 2nd language we should refer to speaking "mexican" since most mexicans will just give you a dumb stare if you speak school taught spanish to them. "

durango wrote on Jul 30, 2008 9:39 AM:

" Farm--No, your quote is inaccurate.

I've read Sen. Obama's book. Twice, as a matter of fact.

The accurate quote is (from page 261):

`"Of course, not all my conversations in immigrant communities follow this easy pattern. In the wake of 9/11, my meetings with Arab and Pakistani Americans, for example, have a more urgent quality, for the stories of detentions and FBI questioning and hard stares from neighbors have shaken their sense of security and belonging. They have been reminded that the history of immigration in this country has a dark underbelly; they need specific assurances that their citizenship really means something, that America has learned the right lessons from the Japanese internments during World War II, and that I will stand with them should the political winds shift in an ugly direction."'

Clearly, this quote is in the context of immigration and does not imply a political promise to muslims. "

gymjunkie wrote on Jul 30, 2008 9:37 AM:

" I gotta wonder if Hussein Obamas kids speak spanish. Hussein apparently doesn't.
Ever hear George W. rattle off in meixican? He's pretty fluent. From what I understand McCain can hold his own also.
I speak pretty good Britainese and can understand most australian.

Hussein Obama more and more seems like a Saturday Night Live skit to offset the fact that Democrats have nothing better to offer. It's almost like he is a Republican plant to throw off the election. The guy is a walking Dork.
Throw in loons like the saviour of the world Pelosi and her sidekick Harry R. and you have a whole hour worth of laughs. "

92231 wrote on Jul 30, 2008 9:26 AM:

" The perception we adapt and react to comes from within ourselves. It happens time and time again when people react out of fear of their own inferiority and low self esteem as they need to feel superior over some race, person, or thing. You are threatened by the fact of 'your' uninformed knowledge of Mr. Obama as you have a need to feel superior to this man. You will find fault with him and any other simply because he is not you. What a sad situation our society has created.

Our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this planet, breathe the same air, and are all mortal. Some day when the water reaches your rear end, maybe you will finally 'get it' "

farmallalfalfa wrote on Jul 30, 2008 8:33 AM:

" Here's a direct quote from Barack's book Audacity of Hope: "I will stand with the Muslims should the political winds shift in an ugly direction".

After reading this, I think electing him the next President of the United States of America would definitely be the smart choice (Although McCain is not much better). "

holtville1 wrote on Jul 30, 2008 4:06 AM:

" I have believed for a long time that children in the U.S. should be required to learn a second language in school. I also feel that French should not be one of those ones allowed. Japanese, Chinese, Spanish, Russian, Farsi - sure. French - no. France has been a non-player on the world stage for a long time and Obama gave the country a legitimacy it doesn't deserve. Actually, the whole of Europe has become irrelevant over recent decades. America is still the country everyone else looks up to, regardless of what useful idiots like yourself think. "


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