Some military humor

This column was first published Oct. 15, 2006 - My son Steve recently shared some military humor and wisdom.

“When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.” — U.S. Marine Corps

“If the enemy is in range, so are you.” — Infantry Journal

“It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.” — U.S. Air Force manual


“Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.” — Gen. MacArthur

“Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.” — Infantry Journal

“You, you and you … panic. The rest of you, come with me.” — U.S. Marine Corps gunnery sergeant

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“Tracers work both ways.” — U.S. Army ordnance

“Five second fuses only last three seconds.” — Infantry Journal

“Don’t ever be the first, don’t ever be the last, and don’t ever volunteer to do anything.” — U.S. Navy swabbie

“If your attack is going too well, you’re walking into an ambush.” — Infantry Journal

“Any ship can be a minesweeper … once.” — anonymous

“Never tell the platoon sergeant you have nothing to do.” — Unknown Marine recruit

“Don’t draw fire; it irritates the people around you.” — your buddies

“If you see a bomb technician running, follow him.” — U.S. Air Force ammo troop

“You’ve never been lost until you’ve been lost at Mach 3.” — Paul F. Crickmore, test pilot

“A pilot who doesn’t have any fear probably isn’t flying his plane to its maximum.” — Jon McBride, astronaut

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