INKED! Twice as nice: A tale of Two mothers

May 9, 2013

The two mothers in my life couldn’t be more different; they’re polar opposites held together only by the common thread of me and my children.

INKED! Seeing red over toothless Brown Act

May 3, 2013

In the black-and-white world of right and wrong, the Brown Act is an enigma.

INKED! Child's play: What kindles the kids?

April 25, 2013

Holding parents responsible for their children’s actions is easier said than done. If the opposite was true, Brawley probably wouldn’t be a patchwork quilt of scorched earth.

Brawley is sick with the fire bug

April 12, 2013

Is the city of Brawley under siege? Yeah, it is.

INKED! The moral 'evolution' of gay marriage

March 28, 2013

When Bill O’Reilly “evolves” on the issue of gay marriage, it’s worth wondering whether the word “evolve” has a new definition.

INKED! CVS diet bad on many levels

March 21, 2013

I’m thinking the CVS diet might be right for me.

INKED! 'Dynasty' doesn't duck its mass appeal

March 15, 2013

America loves “Duck Dynasty.” It hits all the right notes for all the right people.

INKED! Hitler plus gun control equals bad math

March 7, 2013

The idea that Adolf Hitler disarmed his country en route to exterminating 6 million Jews is driving a specific kind of fear.

INKED! The days of free are numbered

February 28, 2013

Depending on how one calculates it, the Internet is old enough to drive, will be old enough to vote this year and can go to the bar for drinks in the immediate future.

INKED! Who dat? It's someone who loves Nawlins

February 21, 2013

David Haynesworth says “they” call him the “Ambassador of New Orleans,” whoever they are.

INKED! Love is a game of playing the percentages

February 14, 2013

“Happy Valentine’s Day. To: Dad, From: Riley.” Aw shucks.

INKED! On the ninth day God created

February 8, 2013

And on the ninth day God looked down on his planned paradise and his caretaker and said, “How are you going to do all this by yourself?”

INKED! Throwback 'Song Reader' is required reading

January 31, 2013

Aside from marching bands, movie scores and classical charts, sheet music is an unknown quantity to most popular and modern music fans, an anachronism of a bygone era.

INKED! Shooting holes in gun grab idea

January 24, 2013

Who wouldn’t want a Bushmaster rifle? That thing is a beast. In all its tricked-out paramilitary glory, with a fully extended clip, that rifle could make Swiss cheese out of, well, Swiss cheese.

INKED! Keeping up with the Dres, 50s and Lemmys

January 10, 2013

Technological tastemakers seem to vomit in sine waves, spewing metered peaks and valleys that say bigger is better one minute and that little is the new big the next.

INKED! Immigration. It's what's for dinner

January 3, 2013

The D.C. Sausage Factory is back open for business, and the moment’s featured flavor is Immigration Reform Reprise.

INKED! Li'l Orphan Alexi stuck in Gulag

December 27, 2012

Heating up a rekindling Cold War at the expense of orphaned children is kind of a cuckoo move, but Russia is kind of a cuckoo place.

INKED! Waste of time or false alarm, the end is nigh?

December 20, 2012

It’s possible I just wasted a couple of hours of my life writing this column instead of loving on my kids and wife before the end of the world.

INKED! Wilde about the 'stache, and soon, Billy Joel

December 13, 2012

The mustache used to be important, a facial accoutrement to be taken seriously, by serious men.

INKED: Shelf the elf already; it doesn't work

December 6, 2012

Our elf is named Cookie, and he’s a creepy little thing.

INKED! Camacho's transcends quesadillas

November 30, 2012

It was near the close of business, and all The Wife wanted was a sope. Seven months pregnant, she nearly burst into tears when told the kitchen ran out hours ago.

Thankful for good news, if just for a day

November 23, 2012

The news business is often a negative business, and sometimes it’s hard to come up for air when you’re swimming in the sewer.

INKED! Secession is empty rhetoric, treasonous talk

November 15, 2012

Americans have sent a clear message with these petitions of secession, which have now come from angry citizens from all 50 states.

INKED! Post-election hangover is a messy affair

November 8, 2012

The chaos, anger and, ultimately, the sadness so apparent in the afterglow of this election — presidential and otherwise — is far worse than anything that preceded it.

INKED! Romo's T-shirt heard 'round the country

November 2, 2012

Surely Jay Leno must have asked Sergio Romo about the T-shirt last night.

INKED! The zombie apocalypse: Must have brains!

October 25, 2012

Zombies, ladies and gentlemen, love them some brains; creamy, warm, and preferably human.

INKED! Uncle Mitt's big ol' binder

October 18, 2012

Will the presidential election be won or lost on the basis of who can claim the female vote? Not likely. It is far more complicated than that.

INKED! Added pounds means paying more at the pump? WTH?

October 11, 2012

As if we fatties didn’t have enough to worry about, we now have to pay attention at the gas pump in way you bony, chiseled types don’t have to.

INKED! Obomney means the longest rain check ever

October 5, 2012

The entire miserable presidential election season could be summed up by CNN’s coverage of the first debate between Obomney.

INKED! 'Rudy,' the Irish and the experience

September 27, 2012

If the movie “Rudy” doesn’t do something to you, if it doesn’t leave a lump in the throat the size of “Rudy” Ruettiger himself, there’s a problem.

Mitt plays the percentages to accidental results?

September 20, 2012

When it comes to playing the percentages, it’s all about making the safe bet, relying on the odds to stack up in your favor.

INKED! Living down to expectations via manipulation

September 13, 2012

We all have our limits, and we all have those people in our lives who know how to lead us past that personal tripwire.They are the button-pushers, the psychological assassins who can bring us to our knees through emotional destruction, triggering pride, anger and fear the way no amount of physical pain can.

Inked: High school memories among the 99 percent

September 6, 2012

My high school class ring has been sitting on the floor by the side of my bed for the last couple of days. It could be a sign.

INKED! RNC a mere formality on the road to 2016

August 30, 2012

Between a message that massaged the truth shiatsu-style and the tepid support for the robotic Romney-Tronic 2012, it’s as if the Republican National Convention was about killing time.

Inked! War reality is all fun, games on TV

August 23, 2012

Sorry, America, but you’re cultural devolution is complete.

INKED! Occupy Mars: Red Planet mania is a red herring

August 9, 2012

Dateline: MARS — Just a year after the successful colonization of Mars, the beings of the Red Planet say they want their independence, according to the Galactic Press.

INKED! Don't batter the chicken, batter the game, haters

August 2, 2012

It’s been difficult to come to terms with my masculinity, all 260 pounds of grotesque mannishness.

INKED! The gas, the matches and the Joker

July 26, 2012

“Some men just want to watch the world burn.”

INKED! Saying nothing and everything in 660 words

July 19, 2012

Do I love the Imperial Valley? Sure, I guess. It’s my home, where I was born, bred and raised.

INKED! Suffering is no surprise to the Valley, and that's a good thing

July 12, 2012

Austerity has long been a way of life for the Imperial Valley. It’s like an infection of economic despair that the people and governments of the Valley have developed a tolerance to — we’re all noticeably sick but not dying.

INKED! 'Nothin' to lose' in opening up the world

June 28, 2012

“Got! Got!” Through seven years and two children, that seems to be the universal term for music in my home.

INKED! How can we grow a farmers' market culture?

June 21, 2012

Forgive me, I’ve joined the pretentious juicing craze, thanks to the phenomenon created by the documentary “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead.”

INKED! Good can come from dad's disturbing lesson

June 15, 2012

It didn’t take long for the rest of the nation to tire of the Anthony Sanchez story. What was an explosion of national coverage mere days ago, has died into a few burning embers mostly stoked by the angles that are largely of interest to local eyes and ears only.

Inked: Heroes and heavies in social media landscape

June 8, 2012

The banality of social media can be painful to watch, but when it does something positive, when it steps in to speed along justice in a way that cops and courts cannot, the effect is mind-blowing.

INKED! Are zombies among us? Maybe closer than we think

June 1, 2012

I can totally see myself biting through the soft flesh of someone’s nose, chewing on the grisly cartilage, warm, bitter rivers of blood running down my chin.

INKED! Jogging a memory in time for Memorial Day

May 24, 2012

When I was a kid I was fascinated by the lump in the middle of my grandfather’s back.

INKED! The changing face of America's future

May 17, 2012

Americans, take a good, long look in the mirror. You’re either the face of America today, or the face of tomorrow.

INKED! A good day to be gay in America?

May 10, 2012

Did President Obama send a huge message to North Carolina, home of the most vile and cruel anti-gay marriage amendment yet?

INKED! Different battlefield, same condition

May 3, 2012

Pro football players, with their mix of on-the-field heroics and violent mash-ups, are the closest thing we have to gladiators, warriors, and the kind of super soldier fit for public consumption — there’s no blood or lost limbs, no friendly fire or civilian kills.

Patience requires a fortune cookie moment

April 27, 2012

One man’s lack of patience, his snap reaction and probably a total absence of commonsense and inner peace cost him 80 bucks, give or take.

INKED! Gonna party like it's 2009

April 20, 2012

Sarah Palin lives larger in “Saturday Night Live” lore thanks to Tina Fey then the one-time veep candidate does in the fickle political consciousness.

INKED! Pattern project parallels westward expansion

April 12, 2012

Progress is an irresistible force that no cultural artifact can overcome, but it’s certainly not an easily reconciled idea.

INKED! Casino rolls along as (one-man) opposition craps out

April 6, 2012

The Calexico casino has movement now, finally, after a long lull in which the Bush administration upheld its unwritten edict to not process off-reservation casino projects that came across the Department of Interior’s desk.

INKED! Damned if you do, damned if you don't

March 29, 2012

I’m not in the habit of taking column requests, but when my boss said, “in this town, you’re damned if you do, and you’re damned if you don’t,” we arrived here.

INKED! Tinfoil hats are nice ... if you don't work

March 23, 2012

I’ve long suspected that I might find a tinfoil hat to my liking, that it might be useful to deflect government mind-control devices and protect me from one too many late nights staring at my Hot Pockets rotate to an unnaturally irradiated brown.

All things are connected when you're wearing blinders

March 15, 2012

I went on my first tour of the Salton Sea after a lifetime in the Valley, read some anti-KONY 2012 material and ended the day with a scrumptious Doritos Locos Taco Supreme.

INKED! Once a bully, always a bully: heed this fully

March 9, 2012

People are who they are, and they usually don’t change once they have adopted a certain mental and emotional gait, reached a natural maturity.

INKED! 'How I spent my conference': a true story ... possibly

March 2, 2012

The single-breasted navy blazer with gold buttons, khaki chinos and a crisp, light blue shirt with no tie.

The run-up to "Mr. 300" has been quite the trip

February 24, 2012

Call me “Mr. 300,” if you please, because I’m damn proud of it.

INKED! Once a tweet hits the streets, there's no going back

February 10, 2012

Roland Martin’s story is not a unique one in today’s “need-to-know” landscape, that is, “you need to know what I’m up to, whether you want to or not.”

INKED! If pink is the new red, I'll pass

February 3, 2012

Pink’s not really my color, not when it becomes more apparent that it’s simply a lighter shade of red, the ubiquitous color of the conservative class.

Inked: Dealing the hard stuff, one Girl Scout cookie at a time

January 27, 2012

The Girl Scouts changes a man. It changes his family, what he’s willing to do, how far he’s willing to sink to the depths of human depravity.

INKED! What's up, DOC? Ty's baby band goes bye-bye

January 20, 2012

Not quite panicked, but a little dramatic, I called out to The Wife — “Pris, does Tyler have a fever? That’s all we need.”

INKED! California above all needs more Jello

January 13, 2012

Someone call Jello Biafra, Californians need him. We need a laugh, because nothing seems very funny in the Golden State these days.

INKED! Extravagant promises for 2012? I think not

January 6, 2012

Every morning that I wake up healthy, with a loving wife, two precious kids, a job that I believe is important — to me and others — and my sobriety, I thank a power greater than myself.

INKED! Taking the Wild West to the Middle East no cause to celebrate

December 30, 2011

Spare me the song and dance about ticker-tape parades and World War II-style welcome-home escapades of yesteryear.

INKED! Tis the season for Randy, Ralphie and Red Ryder

December 23, 2011

When I left the house the other morning, I took a good long look at my boy and said, “Goodbye, Randy.”

Inked: Tebow is part of a larger plan

December 16, 2011

Tim Tebow is not ruining the NFL.

INKED! Giving voice to 'our' culture makes sense

December 9, 2011

What is the Latino experience? Honestly, I’m not sure.

INKED! Keeping on schedule

December 2, 2011

Potheads are annoying. They talk too much, are way too chill and keep asking the same questions over and over.

Inked! Giving - and living - thanks every day

November 25, 2011

Standing next to my 6-year-old daughter, Riley, looking at her small hands covered in jellied turkey fat and bits of meat, counting and recounting the little pile of wishbones in front of her, I couldn’t have been more proud.

INKED! Just who exactly needs libraries?

November 18, 2011

Is there a place for libraries in our lives? It’s one of those questions that won’t keep you up at night, but it will be a topic of intense debate when libraries are no longer there.

INKED! If you wanted dirt, we had it ... lots of it

November 10, 2011

If you enjoy dirty politicking and disinformation, Tuesday was a good day.

Learning new tricks to save an old dog

November 4, 2011

If 7 billion blood-thirsty fleas and ticks sucking on the body of an old dog have yet to kill it, then another billion isn’t exactly going to get the job done.

INKED! Alien abduction in the desert

October 28, 2011

EDITOR’S NOTE: This column first ran April 30, 2005. A new INKED! will return next week.

INKED! 'Last Lecture' inspires 'Last Column'

October 21, 2011

Four million people — at least — are familiar with Randy Pausch. I was not one of them.

INKED! Finding salvation for Leonard Knight's mountain

October 14, 2011

Salvation Mountain is the epitome of folk art. Stark. Simple. Colorful. Meaningful.

Bypassing one issue for another

October 7, 2011

Addiction is baffling in its predictability, and just when you think you understand it, again, the rope-a-dope.

INKED! Sweet racism is icing on the (cup)cake?

September 29, 2011

Little Debbie is rolling over in her grave, blowing cream-filled chunks into her cocoa-dusted bonnet.

INKED! Facebook changes could change the world ...seriously

September 23, 2011

We know Mark Zuckerberg is a visionary nerd, a tech, media- and business-savvy shut-in who has changed the way we interact with each other.

INKED! These are the best of times, worst of times

September 9, 2011

Election cycles always seem to bring out the worst traits in candidates, at a time when you hope to see the best of their personalities and positions.

INKED! Confident in the use of no confidence

September 2, 2011

Never have I seen more motions of no confidence issued, uttered and threatened around these parts than in the last couple of years.

INKED! Adapting better than railing against the tide

August 26, 2011

Not feeling the love from this two-year quest to better my health; in fact, a four- or five-month bout with extreme physical pain has me re-jiggering my health goals.

INKED! An inescapable, impenetrable cocoon we created

August 19, 2011

So much of what we do today, how we’ve come to live and function, involves negotiating technology.

INKED! Collateral damage in the war on Roe v. Wade

August 12, 2011

I’m one of the fortunate ones, who has a job and health insurance, and the ability to walk into a pharmacy and purchase three months of birth-control pills for my wife for about $4 out-of-pocket.

INKED! Social (media) diseases: Too late for a cure?

June 23, 2011

Via Twitter 7:32 a.m.: OMG! iPhone alarm clock on the fritz; gonna be late for work! :p

INKED! Whoopee, sports and cheese; what to know when

June 17, 2011

How well do we know our spouses? We want to think we know each other like chocolate knows peanut butter, like eggs know bacon, but do we?

Why keep it old school? Here's why

June 10, 2011

It’s puzzling when a clandestine photo of a politician in undress is enough to be considered legitimate journalism, but that’s the era we live in.

INKED! A graduation address you won't hear

June 3, 2011

Some of you had no desire to be here over the last four years, so good luck with that. A scintillating career in the food services industry awaits you.

Inked! It's about coffee, I guess

May 27, 2011

Column-writing can be pure drudgery. The best you can hope for is a piece that is remembered a week after it runs, or better yet, one that is forgotten the moment it exits the eyes and courses through the brain.

INKED! Acting small, thinking big equals change

May 20, 2011

Social change does not operate according to the laws of physics; one small pebble skipped across a lake isn’t going to become a tidal wave.

INKED! Dreams can go only so far in reform debate

May 13, 2011

The immigration problem in this country is really a cheap labor problem, brought on by the lazy American problem.

Tinfoil troops see Obama lies in Osama demise

May 6, 2011

INKED! Tinfoil troops see Obama lies in Osama demise

May 6, 2011

Birthers, or most of the right-wing, nutso conspiracy theorists in general, remind me of

INKED! To bully or be bullied; what's the question?

April 28, 2011

That both the tormenters and the tormented have been shown to be the victims and witness to high rates of violence in their own families is somewhat surprising.

INKED! How's that 'McJob'? It's work, right?

April 22, 2011

A “McJob” is a lousy job, and there’s no skirting around the issue.

INKED! Earning the right to vote, so sayeth CNN

April 15, 2011

Should ignorant people be allowed to vote?

INKED! A teenage wasteland, or just wasted?

April 8, 2011

I can’t help but wonder what kind of effect Charlie Sheen and the thankfully waning media fascination with him has had on teenagers.

INKED! The great teachers are never forgotten

April 1, 2011

Sharon Anderholt was my third-grade teacher at Hedrick Elementary in El Centro, and she was the first teacher who made an impression on my life. I still call her a friend today.

INKED! The rule of thirds applies here

March 25, 2011

To be manipulated, or to be the manipulator.  

INKED! When is "too soon" too soon?

March 18, 2011

It must have come to Joong Kim in a dream. Calexico. Under water. Ravaged by a tsunami.

INKED! Will Jesus freaks get their own House hearings?

March 11, 2011

Admit it. In the weeks, months, and sadly, years following 9/11, we were all a bit squeamish about being in a crowded bus or plane with any bearded, dark man perceived to be of Middle-Eastern descent.

INKED! E.C. needs its library now; here's an idea

March 4, 2011

Frankly, I’m not concerned whether the El Centro Public Library building on State Street can be saved. It performed its job admirably for a century.

INKED! No home, no hope, no help?

February 25, 2011

“I’m never going to be homeless.” My daughter said this very thing as we were sitting in a drive-through and a man in a big jacket came walking by.

INKED! What is 'Teen Mom' teaching again?

February 18, 2011

There’s a fine line between a cautionary tale and blatant exploitation, and MTV’s “Teen Mom” franchise has all but erased it.

INKED! 'Welcome Home' baby Brown, sister won't bite

February 11, 2011

I’ll start off by saying, “I refuse to buy a mini-van,” even though I’m starting to feel like a Duggar.

INKED! Can we put action behind our words?

January 28, 2011

INKED! Place dog column head here

January 21, 2011

My boss, Brad, is a real ball buster; after practically begging him in his office for an hour, he still put me on the dog column desk this week.

INKED! Theater was always meant for everybody

January 14, 2011

The dramatic streak in me sees a vendetta forming against the board members who cast the deciding votes to rename Southwest Performing Arts Theatre in Jimmie Cannon’s honor, a vendetta that could be realized next election.

INKED! Huck Finn edits too PC, go too far

January 7, 2011

The n-word is an appallingly ugly word. Is it really necessary, though, to edit the term out of an American classic because of cultural sensitivity taken to the extreme?

INKED! Keep It Positive again

December 31, 2010

This time last year, as 2009 was coming to a close and a new chapter of my own life was unfolding, I made a pledge to keep a positive outlook for the next year.

INKED! J-E-T-S coach is D-U-M-B! Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!

December 17, 2010

There is dumb, and then there is super mega colossal extra dumb.

INKED! Pot decision is the right one by City Council

December 10, 2010

While most of the cities in the Valley have been sipping the anti-pot Kool-Aid, shutting the door to the possibility of medical marijuana dispensaries, the city of El Centro reversed course and approved collectives at its meeting Tuesday.

Inked!: T-minus 10 weeks and counting

December 3, 2010

Christmas is at hand, it’s cold outside and The Wife is about to pop.

Inked: The devil's from Canada and in your kid's room

November 26, 2010

I’ve long had a suspicion that Barack Hussein Obama is in fact the anti-Christ.

Slings and arrows vs. boobs and babies

November 19, 2010

Kansas City Chiefs head coach Todd Haley is a boob and a baby.

INKED! The machismo of rodeo works for the Valley

November 12, 2010

I’ve always found it kind of freaky how excited people around the Valley get when Cattle Call Week and the rodeo come around.

Inked! I was and still am a Bubba

November 5, 2010

Nothing good can ever come from running from the police. That’s not to say death should have to be the result, but it’s clear a death could have been avoided.

Inked! On Tuesday, something wicked this way comes

October 29, 2010

Ladies and Ghouls, welcome to Choose or Ooze 2010. I’m your host, Dr. Bizzarro, political analyst with WDED, here to guide you through the afterlife of who’s on Tuesday’s spooky ballot.

Inked! What's in a name? Everything

October 22, 2010

Jimmie Cannon Performing Arts Theatre — it has a nice ring to it.

Inked! A bloody good reason to listen to my wife

October 15, 2010

Is it really all that weird to drink coffee in the shower? I don’t think so.

INKED! Immigration reform we can all live with

October 8, 2010

I knew this would be an issue the minute I decided to get that saltwater swimming pool in my backyard.

INKED! Ann's back and 'you're not black'

October 1, 2010

Like all good vampires hiding underground, drinking the blood of whatever burrowing animal is within fangs’ reach, Ann Coulter has summoned the strength to find her way to the earth’s surface.

INKED! Don't ask, don't tell, girlfriend

September 24, 2010

Somewhere in the bowels of the White House, President Obama has assembled his inner sanctum in the situation room hours after Sen. John McCain has begun to filibuster the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal vote Tuesday.

Inked! To fish or not to fish, that is the question

September 17, 2010

Riley really wants me to take her fishing, but frankly, I’m just not that into it.

Inked! To fish or not to fish, that is the question

September 17, 2010

Riley really wants me to take her fishing, but frankly, I’m just not that into it.

Inked! Part III: How to have your needs unmet

September 10, 2010

“One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.” Plato On Aug. 31 the Legislature wrapped up another useless session with a game of “legislative bingo,” and by useless I mean no budget was passed, the only thing California lawmakers should be concerning themselves with right now.

Inked! If no Wally, who then? Anybody?

September 3, 2010

Somewhere between calling for county Supervisor Wally Leimgruber’s ouster and questioning his priorities as an elected official, a Facebook fan page was created to compel me to run for office.

Inked! Hicksville, USA, needs a new supe

August 27, 2010

Please, please, please get Wally Leimgruber out of office.

Inked! I went to mall and all I got was this T-shirt

August 20, 2010

“100% Mother F*&cking Ruthless.”

Inked! By the skin of my...

August 13, 2010

Dear “Dr. 90210” (Dr. Robert Rey),<br>Call me. I get it.

Viewpoint: Where parking and politics meet

August 6, 2010

Nothing gets me more riled up than when I come home from work and somebody’s parked in my spot.

Inked! Teen 'Runaways' don't bode well for the future

July 23, 2010

Teenage girls confuse the hell out of me and scare me a little. Well, a lot, actually.

Inked! Something stinks in Denmark, and it's drifting our way

July 16, 2010

Besides inflicting an awful lot of physical and mental damage, extremists and extremism is just plain stoopid. It comes from a place of emotion over intellect, half truths, misinformation and herd mentality.

Inked! Middle of the road means common sense

July 9, 2010

I’m glad I’m in the middle, straddling the fence. Maybe I lean a little to the left — some days about to topple over on my ear — but by and large I play in the center of the teeter totter, with my arms outstretched to keep my moral and mental balance.

Inked! 'Goin' Ghetto'? I'll take my Emmy now

July 2, 2010

I haven’t seen “MacGruber,” but I was always a big “MacGyver” guy growing up. I always found it impressive that Richard Dean Anderson, in all his mulleted glory, could fashion a weapon or disarm a bomb with crude and unrelated products.

Inked! Comment at your own risk; I dare you

June 24, 2010

Some days my cup doth runneth over with Hatorade, and today the venom is flowing.